Best Funny Quotes

Read the best funny quotes written by famous authors and also share these short funny quotes with your loved ones as funny messages. Here you can also find funny quotes and sayings for women, students, work, and kids. A list of funny quotes can also be used to make others laugh and forget their sadness.

Best Funny Quotes

Best Funny Quotes Quotes

Airplanes may kill you, but they ain't likely to hurt you.

"I like nonsense, it wakes up the brain cells. Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living."

My trouble was I had a mind but I couldn't make it up!

"Food had power. It could inspire, astonish, shock, excite, delight and impress. It had the power to please me ."

Big Brother is Watching You.

People confuse me. Food doesn't.

The one thing I love in life is to sleep.

You don’t have to be fool just because the whole world is fool!

"I'm screamingly funny, you know, I really am in the books. And that helps because I'm funnier than a lot of people, I think, and that's appreciated by young people."

"The middle class is so funny, it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny."

"We're a phenomenally snobby society, and it's such a rich seam. The middle class is so funny: it's the class I know best, and it's the class where you find the most pretension, so that's what makes the middle classes so funny."

"Whatever is funny is subversive, every joke is ultimately a custard pie... a dirty joke is a sort of mental rebellion."

"I was asked to act when I couldn't act. I was asked to sing 'Funny Face' when I couldn't sing, and dance with Fred Astaire when I couldn't dance - and do all kinds of things I wasn't prepared for. Then I tried like mad to cope with it."

I guess when you turn off the main road, you have to be prepared to see some funny houses.

"Life does not cease to be funny when people die any more than it ceases to be serious when people laugh."

A man's got to take a lot of punishment to write a really funny book.

"Everyone has at least one story, and each of us is funny if we admit it. You have to admit you're the funniest person you've ever heard of."

I'm spending a year dead for tax reasons.

Fun is good.

It is a mistake to think you can solve any major problems just with potatoes.

"I'm bad and I'm going to hell, and I don't care. I'd rather be in hell than anywhere where you are."

Racing and hunting madden our minds.

"Men always say that as the defining compliment, don’t they? She’s a cool girl. Being the Cool Girl means I am a hot, brilliant, funny woman who adores football, poker, dirty jokes, and burping, who plays video games, drinks cheap beer, loves... Read More "

A pessimist is a man who thinks everybody is as nasty as himself, and hates them for it.

I did not attend his funeral, but I sent a nice letter saying I approved of it.

It's easy to make friends, but hard to get rid of them.

Life is too short to learn German.

I didn't have time to write a short letter, so I wrote a long one instead.

Get your facts first, then you can distort them as you please.

"If you're serious, you really understand that it's important that you laugh as much as possible and admit that you're the funniest person you ever met. You have to laugh. Admit that you're funny. Otherwise, you die in solemnity."